Be the change you want to see in the world...

Synopsis of Us

Lisa is au natural. She likes to have babies at home and drink slimy green liquids with large amounts of earth in them. She loves the quacks and we love her. If you are ailing, just call Lisa. She will doctor you up!

Melanie is a little bundle of energy. She's very peppy and always bouncing around. Do not drive with her. She tends to talk and visit and not watch the road. Cuts a mean hair-do!

Sarah is crazy! She loves Diet Pepsi (too much). The group photographer with many free photo shoots for her friends. Many questionable eating habits that we all ignore, hopefully they don't kill her.

Emily is an overachiever. She never sleeps and wakes up way too early so she can pratice music with her kids. She loves the earthy green drink too. Be careful, she will try to poison you with sugar-free goodies.

Jen is a dental hygienist. If you want to know which kind of gum to chew (to xylitol or not to xylitol, this is the question) she'll know.

Lana is full of crap! Literally, her house is full of crap! Yes, just stuff. If you ever need any random thing, pretty sure it's in her house... somewhere. Very competitive, don't coach children's athletics with her.

Adria is straightforward. She pretty much says it like it is. She is our community sex-ed advisor. Any questions, just ask her, she knows it all.

Marianne (one of the tall, leggy blonds) is amazing! She graduated from college while taking care of her four children and working to save the entire Chinese orphan population.

Marilyn is a perfectionist. She has to have everything at a ninety degree angle, if not, she's nervous. Hopefully this doesn't kill her. Likes to scrapbook, spends a large sum of money on this activity.

Stephanie (another tall, leggy blond) really likes to work out. Too much of a good thing is not a good thing. Nursing is her profession (not wet nursing).

Thursday, April 24, 2008

Digitus Impudicus



FYI

In 2001 a United States appeals court ruled that the digitus impudicus ("impudent finger") is protected speech.

In Western cultures, the finger (as in giving someone the finger) is a well-known hand gesture made by extending the middle finger of the hand while bending the other fingers into the palm. A known variation includes extending the thumb as well (my personal favorite).

The gesture is also known as "the bird," "flipping the birdie," the "highway salute," "you're number one in my book," (Jeff's fav) "The New York Hello," "concert C," (haven't heard of this one) "sticking your middle finger up," "The One-fingered Salute," "The Canadian Turn Signal," (Brek???) or "flipping someone off."

When both hands are used, it is known as the "double-barrel salute" or the "double deuce." (this is the one I've been practicing). A variation of the gesture is also made by showing someone the back of the hand, with three fingers extended, and telling the recipient to "read between the lines," or "peel the banana." A more comical approach is to wiggle all five fingers and query, "Do you see these?" retracting all but the middle finger and state, "It's a whole flock of these." A distinct reference to the aforementioned "bird." (Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha, sooo funny.)

Come on, if we knew the history behind the bird, we'd be proud to flip it. Think about it, every state has an official bird (do you know Idaho's?) even the United States has an official bird. There are thousands (well at least hundreds) of people who study ornithology (the science of birds). Bird watchers, bird photographers... people can't get enough of "the bird."


The bottom line about my personal relationship with "the bird" is that it's my friend, my ally and my constant companion. I count on it to relay the messages I have a hard time putting into words like, "I love you," "BFF," "Let's always stay true," "Stay gold Ponyboy," (the Outsiders) "We are the World, We are the Children," or on another spectrum, "I'm watching you," (two fingers pointing to my eyes, two fingers pointing to your eyes, repeat, repeat), "Get a life," "Get real" or "Honestly" (said with much sarcasm).

See... "the bird" can be used on many occasions.


To be quite frank, I've never met a bird I didn't love!
-Lana


Ps. What's your favorite bird?

8 comments:

marianne said...

Lana,
You have truly enlightened my thinking on the subject> I feel.........well enlightened!!
Mare M.

marianne said...

AND YOU MADE ME PEE MY PANTS I LAUGHED SO HARD!!!!!!!!!!!
MARE M.

Sarah Stokes said...

Once again you have proven "stay at home moms" sit around and do NOTHING!!! Seriously - how much time can a girl have with 6 kids to reseach the birdie? You are sooo crazy, Steve and I were laughing so hard neither of us could even read the rest!:)

Emily said...

Stay gold ponyboy??! Nice!

steph said...

I am impressed Emily that you still find time to comment even though you are sick. Now, Lana I am pretty sure you have mastered the double-barrel salute. Maybe it is time to start practicing the 5 finger wiggle - in the mirror of course. After that synopsis of the bird, I will definitely feel offended if I don't get the sign from you.

Extraordinary Housewife said...

Already have Steph! -Lana

The Brack's said...

Lana,
Once a virgin always a virgin...Virgin of course, that is the only way they come! Lana, you are one of a kind! How can one person be so freakin' funny! Have you ever heard of the "Mormon Bird"? Maybe we should talk about that sometime!
Carie B-

BTW-Emily...I could hear your voice echoing through my head as I read your comment! It was like you were sitting right next to me saying it!

Chelsie said...

Lana,

I am pretty sure that I have never met anyone funnier than you. On top of being a stay at home mom, you need to be a stand up comic. And I definitely agree that America needs better voting skills. peace out home slice.