Breaking News (as in breaking my heart)

Today... Monday... always the day, the big dance, the show.

Emma and I showed up at Primary Children's this morning for her treatments. I was so excited because we were only there for Chemo, basically in and out in an hour. I could handle that, Emma could eat (no fasting for tests) and we were happy.

Dr. Phil (seriously, but not the real Dr. Phil) came in and checked on Emma. She said she was happy, but gassy (quite hilarious description) and hungry.

The doctor then turned to me and said, "Well, we probably need to talk." The blood instantly rushed to my face as this statement brought back terrible memories of two specific occasions. I mean when has, "Well, we probably need to talk," ever meant anything good?

The first of these occasions was when I was a sophomore in high school. I was dating a severly attractive boy (he could bench 175, that was a lot). His name was Brad (the coolest name eva') and we were H-O-T! Anyway, one evening he takes me on a drive and completely unbeknownst (yes, that is a word) to me, he was breaking up with me. I mean usually I could tell if we were drifting apart as a couple, or I was the one doing the dumping, but no! He said, "I think we need to talk," and WHAM (not the singing group) it was over. Heartbroken.

The second occasion was just a couple of weeks ago. Dr. Graham called to let me know the results of Emma's blood draw. She had been sick. I was expecting something... but not that! Dr Graham said, "We need to talk, (this sentence is becoming a theme here... see?) You need to sit down." To which I responded, "I'm hanging up now." At which time WHAM (again, not the singing group, however I would like a reunion)... Leukemia.

As you can see this "talking" is not a good thing for me.

Anyway, Dr. Phil said that Emma has philadelphia chromosome translocation . Long story short (click on the link if you want some biology) two chromosomes (#9 and #22) have cross breeded, which is against the rules! This makes it harder to treat leukemia. These two cells had an affair (shame, shame) and as a result have caused lots of mutant DNA throughout her cells. In the end, Emma will need a bone marrow transplant. In the beginning (I act like it was so long ago) this is what we were so thankful she didn't need.

Her siblings (all five of them, thank goodness for proliferation) have now been tested to see if they are a match (we will know the results in two weeks). They each have a 25% chance that they will match. No this does not mean that we have a 125% chance of matching. Come on, where were you during statistics? But, with so many siblings, the chances are obviously higher that a match will be found.

This is what we are praying for... that a match will be found within her siblings. Please, please, I am pleading with you (I have lost all pride) to join me in prayer as we ask our Heavenly Father to help us through this time.

Of course it is late at night. I can't sleep and everything seems darker than it really is. The light will come tomorrow. The christmas trees and the season give me hope. I will head over to Emily's house tomorrow because her house sparkles and it makes me happy. You all make me happy and you all give me hope.

Tears... amen.

-Lana